Guns - R_P - May 20, 2018 - 5:32pm
 
Buying a Car - kurtster - May 20, 2018 - 5:28pm
 
Trump - R_P - May 20, 2018 - 5:21pm
 
Strips, cartoons, illustrations - R_P - May 20, 2018 - 5:07pm
 
Baseball, anyone? - haresfur - May 20, 2018 - 4:46pm
 
BillyGee's Greatest Segues - SeriousLee - May 20, 2018 - 4:07pm
 
The Dragons' Roost - Red_Dragon - May 20, 2018 - 3:50pm
 
Fake News*  ?  ! - R_P - May 20, 2018 - 2:57pm
 
Stuff I've Said Out Loud - Antigone - May 20, 2018 - 2:46pm
 
PUNS - BIRDS - oldviolin - May 20, 2018 - 2:13pm
 
Race in America - R_P - May 20, 2018 - 1:52pm
 
Bad Poetry - ScottFromWyoming - May 20, 2018 - 1:50pm
 
What makes you smile? - Steely_D - May 20, 2018 - 12:14pm
 
Things You Thought Today - Antigone - May 20, 2018 - 12:00pm
 
What Are You Going To Do Today? - Antigone - May 20, 2018 - 11:03am
 
Name My Band - helenofjoy - May 20, 2018 - 9:33am
 
Is Wikipedia Objective? - maryte - May 20, 2018 - 8:20am
 
Radio Paradise Comments - miamizsun - May 20, 2018 - 7:42am
 
What are you listening to now? - SeriousLee - May 20, 2018 - 7:22am
 
More reggae, less Marley please - sirdroseph - May 20, 2018 - 6:26am
 
Beer - sirdroseph - May 20, 2018 - 6:23am
 
songs that ROCK! - R_P - May 20, 2018 - 2:03am
 
Iran - richskarma - May 19, 2018 - 11:05pm
 
Make me a stereo system! (poof!!) - Beaker - May 19, 2018 - 8:51pm
 
Classical Music - R_P - May 19, 2018 - 7:46pm
 
Counting with Pictures - ScottN - May 19, 2018 - 6:15pm
 
Mixtape Culture Club - ColdMiser - May 19, 2018 - 5:18pm
 
Radio Paradise on the Amazon Echo - jarro - May 19, 2018 - 4:30pm
 
Bug Reports & Feature Requests - k_trout - May 19, 2018 - 3:01pm
 
RP Daily Trivia Challenge - maryte - May 19, 2018 - 10:52am
 
What are you reading now? - triskele - May 19, 2018 - 5:49am
 
What Are You Grateful For? - triskele - May 19, 2018 - 5:47am
 
The Truth Unfolds - SeriousLee - May 19, 2018 - 4:52am
 
Country Up The Bumpkin - SeriousLee - May 19, 2018 - 4:26am
 
OMG how I hate the sound of Joni Mitchell singing.... - ColdMiser - May 19, 2018 - 4:17am
 
Name My Album - SeriousLee - May 19, 2018 - 2:08am
 
New Music - R_P - May 19, 2018 - 12:35am
 
Those Silly FBI Guys! - kurtster - May 18, 2018 - 10:24pm
 
Unusual News - kcar - May 18, 2018 - 8:13pm
 
hallucinogenic drugs - kcar - May 18, 2018 - 8:07pm
 
Pernicious Pious Proclivities Particularized Prodigiously - R_P - May 18, 2018 - 3:01pm
 
Things We Shouldn't Have To Say - Steely_D - May 18, 2018 - 2:58pm
 
The Global War on Terror - R_P - May 18, 2018 - 1:17pm
 
Proposed Crime of the Century: - haresfur - May 18, 2018 - 1:08pm
 
Bitcoin - Steely_D - May 18, 2018 - 1:04pm
 
Rock Movies/Documentaries - Proclivities - May 18, 2018 - 11:43am
 
The War On Drugs = Fail - Proclivities - May 18, 2018 - 11:42am
 
Regarding dogs - R_P - May 18, 2018 - 11:39am
 
Propaganda - Proclivities - May 18, 2018 - 10:35am
 
Celebrity Deaths - Antigone - May 18, 2018 - 8:50am
 
FLAC stream - marco79cgn - May 18, 2018 - 8:30am
 
Roku Soundbridge M1000 - STOPPED WORKING! HELP! - adam8021x - May 18, 2018 - 7:15am
 
Quick! I need a chicken... - Proclivities - May 18, 2018 - 6:54am
 
Palestine - R_P - May 17, 2018 - 10:49pm
 
Those lovable acronym guys & gals - R_P - May 17, 2018 - 8:47pm
 
Israel - R_P - May 17, 2018 - 7:32pm
 
HomeKit HomePod AppleTV - Steely_D - May 17, 2018 - 6:02pm
 
illegal immigrants - kcar - May 17, 2018 - 5:30pm
 
True Confessions - Coaxial - May 17, 2018 - 4:39pm
 
Vinyl Only Spin List - kurtster - May 17, 2018 - 1:34pm
 
Climate Change - pigtail - May 17, 2018 - 10:04am
 
oh boy CAKE! - Coaxial - May 17, 2018 - 6:55am
 
How's the weather? - Coaxial - May 17, 2018 - 6:05am
 
Radio Paradise Flac in Volumio - bigbargain - May 17, 2018 - 6:02am
 
YouTube: Music-Videos - sirdroseph - May 17, 2018 - 2:56am
 
Live Music - R_P - May 16, 2018 - 10:11pm
 
RPeep News You Should Know - Red_Dragon - May 16, 2018 - 7:52pm
 
Economix - R_P - May 16, 2018 - 3:20pm
 
Unresearched Conspiracy Theories - JrzyTmata - May 16, 2018 - 12:14pm
 
Alexa, what's playing error - jarro - May 16, 2018 - 11:59am
 
North Korea - sirdroseph - May 16, 2018 - 11:57am
 
Coffee - Steely_D - May 16, 2018 - 9:57am
 
Things that make you go Hmmmm..... - Antigone - May 16, 2018 - 9:53am
 
Design-Creative - Proclivities - May 16, 2018 - 8:05am
 
Today in History - Red_Dragon - May 16, 2018 - 6:22am
 
Index » Radio Paradise/General » General Discussion » RP Never Ending Story... Page: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8  Next
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oldviolin
ab origine
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Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Aug 14, 2017 - 7:56am


Proclivities
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aries
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Aug 10, 2017 - 8:44am

demon
samiyam
"Go Ahead, Ignore Me" - Todd Rundgren -
samiyam Avatar

Location: Moving North


Posted: Mar 29, 2011 - 1:47pm

Charisma, a great short story read by the author...
lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
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Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Mar 29, 2011 - 1:41pm

 Proclivities wrote:
...just to hear a lovely limerick.  I know that May 12 is Limerick Day, and up where I come from we only get to have one holiday - the damn Easter bunny is useless to me - refuses to come by.  Surely, among you folk, there should be one person who could rattle off a limerick - and fetch me a beer - no light beer, mind you."
  "Well, Mr. Claus," chirped Kitty, "my late husband, Moss Hart, detested limericks, so it would be far from befitting for me to recite one for you."
  The room fell damply silent and most of the guests stared uncomfortably at the orange shag carpet at beneath their feet.  The silence was finally broken when Santa popped the top on a can of Schlitz which was surreptitiously passed to him.  When everyone looked up they were startled to see Nipsey Russell poised beside the credenza.  Other than a few paint-chips around his chin, he had looked surprisingly rational.
  "Did someone ask for a limerick?"  He bellowed, grinning radiantly (especially radiant since there were a few sea-foam-green paint-chips still between his teeth).
  A collective, muffled groan filled the room.  Many of the guests were tired enough of Ms. Carlisle's musings about her late husband, but Nipsey's rhymes were beyond tiresome to them.  Before any of the guests could create a diversion to stop Mr. Russell, he started improvising and reciting in earnest:
"There once was a man from Dundee
Who made love to an ape in a tree,
the results weren't sweet, three ears and no feet,
eight eyes and a purple...

 

 



 
...DISCREET, please!" yelled kitty. after nearly fainting into paul lynde's martini. gentleman that he was, he immediately fanned her with his monogrammed handkerchief and giggled slyly to fanny flag. next up, to everyone's surprise...
Proclivities
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aries
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Mar 29, 2011 - 12:31pm

 beamends wrote:

Santa.

"What the hell are you doing here? It's only May!" said Kitty, her voice several octaves higher than usual. She'd dropped her glass and the plate of what she had declared to be burned hors d'ouerves.

"Look," said Santa, "have you any idea how dull it is in Lapland this time of year? Those bloody Elves get four months off, and I don't. Oh no, not me! Muggins here has to keep an eye on the place, keep the dammed boilers going, and deal with the greedy little gits who send me letters every month hoping there will be a 'computer error' - whatever the hell one of those is. Mrs. Claus is a pain in the bum - just sits there doing that endless bloody knitting. Do you know that dammed sock is eight and a half miles long now? You know the only thing she ever says outside the Busy Time? 'Make us a cuppa will you Santa dear, I'm parched'. That's it. Thats all she bloody says for eleven months. I'm sick of it. Three bloody centuries of it. Three hundred years of cleaning up after those sodding reindeer. Three hundred years of making ever-so-jolly brightly coloured wooded toys that no kid in their right mind ever asked for. And wooden soldiers that look like reject props from a disastrously under-funded Disney B movie. Have you any idea? I mean, any idea at all what it's like?"

"Pity you dropped those hors d'ouerves by the way, they look cooked to perfection" he added.

Kitty managed to get enough little grey cells organized to re-enable her speech. "Er, can I do something for you. I'm not sure what, after all it's not every day you get a manic Santa on the doorstep and I'm just a tad out of my depth here?"

"Right, yeah, sorry - got a bit carried away there. What I could do with, and I mean need, not want, is..."

 ...just to hear a lovely limerick.  I know that May 12 is Limerick Day, and up where I come from we only get to have one holiday - the damn Easter bunny is useless to me - refuses to come by.  Surely, among you folk, there should be one person who could rattle off a limerick - and fetch me a beer - no light beer, mind you."
  "Well, Mr. Claus," chirped Kitty, "my late husband, Moss Hart, detested limericks, so it would be far from befitting for me to recite one for you."
  The room fell damply silent and most of the guests stared uncomfortably at the orange shag carpet at beneath their feet.  The silence was finally broken when Santa popped the top on a can of Schlitz which was surreptitiously passed to him.  When everyone looked up they were startled to see Nipsey Russell poised beside the credenza.  Other than a few paint-chips around his chin, he had looked surprisingly rational.
  "Did someone ask for a limerick?"  He bellowed, grinning radiantly (especially radiant since there were a few sea-foam-green paint-chips still between his teeth).
  A collective, muffled groan filled the room.  Many of the guests were tired enough of Ms. Carlisle's musings about her late husband, but Nipsey's rhymes were beyond tiresome to them.  Before any of the guests could create a diversion to stop Mr. Russell, he started improvising and reciting in earnest:
"There once was a man from Dundee
Who made love to an ape in a tree,
the results weren't sweet, three ears and no feet,
eight eyes and a purple...

 




beamends

beamends Avatar



Posted: Jan 19, 2011 - 3:39pm

 lily34 wrote:
 ...he remembered nipsy had something in the oven. he nudged nipsy out of his corner licking coma and lead him into the kitchen just in time to take out the hors d'ouerves out of the oven. and it's a good thing, as kitty likes nothing less than burned snacks. while this was going on, in the living room someone had started a big game of Left Right Center and phil was winning. what he was winning, no one really knew, or cared, but phil sure did. he was beside himself. because of the cacophony he was making, there was a knock on the door. kitty happened to be the closest to the door and answered the knock. when she opened the door everyone was shocked to see...

 
Santa.

"What the hell are you doing here? It's only May!" said Kitty, her voice several octaves higher than usual. She'd dropped her glass and the plate of what she had declared to be burned hors d'ouerves.

"Look," said Santa, "have you any idea how dull it is in Lapland this time of year? Those bloody Elves get four months off, and I don't. Oh no, not me! Muggins here has to keep an eye on the place, keep the dammed boilers going, and deal with the greedy little gits who send me letters every month hoping there will be a 'computer error' - whatever the hell one of those is. Mrs. Claus is a pain in the bum - just sits there doing that endless bloody knitting. Do you know that dammed sock is eight and a half miles long now? You know the only thing she ever says outside the Busy Time? 'Make us a cuppa will you Santa dear, I'm parched'. That's it. Thats all she bloody says for eleven months. I'm sick of it. Three bloody centuries of it. Three hundred years of cleaning up after those sodding reindeer. Three hundred years of making ever-so-jolly brightly coloured wooded toys that no kid in their right mind ever asked for. And wooden soldiers that look like reject props from a disastrously under-funded Disney B movie. Have you any idea? I mean, any idea at all what it's like?"

"Pity you dropped those hors d'ouerves by the way, they look cooked to perfection" he added.

Kitty managed to get enough little grey cells organized to re-enable her speech. "Er, can I do something for you. I'm not sure what, after all it's not every day you get a manic Santa on the doorstep and I'm just a tad out of my depth here?"

"Right, yeah, sorry - got a bit carried away there. What I could do with, and I mean need, not want, is................................."


lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 19, 2011 - 3:05pm

 oldviolin wrote:


...a huge tray of delisciously tempting treats. He waded into the amalgam of lovely munchables like
a hungry puppy on fried chicken skin. Since his eyesight was perfect, he passed on the carrots and celery, preferring the delights of mystery meat and cheese and the irresistable bowl of meanwhile, back at the ranch dip. Then, he dipped out of the paint starved room, because...

  ...he remembered nipsy had something in the oven. he nudged nipsy out of his corner licking coma and lead him into the kitchen just in time to take out the hors d'ouerves out of the oven. and it's a good thing, as kitty likes nothing less than burned snacks. while this was going on, in the living room someone had started a big game of Left Right Center and phil was winning. what he was winning, no one really knew, or cared, but phil sure did. he was beside himself. because of the cacophony he was making, there was a knock on the door. kitty happened to be the closest to the door and answered the knock. when she opened the door everyone was shocked to see...


oldviolin
ab origine
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Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Jan 19, 2011 - 3:01pm

 lily34 wrote:

...his lost dog would come back and not have to ring the doorbell. yes, he trained the sweet canine to ring the bell when he wanted to come back inside. but with all the hubub of the party, the wall licking, etc. it might get overlooked. and so, his dog did eventually come back. snuck in, checked out the scene, sniffed at kitty's drink, and turned around to find...

 

...a huge tray of deliciously tempting treats. He waded into the amalgam of lovely munchables like
a hungry puppy on fried chicken skin. Since his eyesight was perfect, he passed on the carrots and celery, preferring the delights of mystery meat and cheese and the irresistable bowl of meanwhile, back at the ranch dip. Then, he dipped out of the paint starved room, because...


lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 19, 2011 - 2:39pm

 oldviolin wrote:


...positioned exactly where the contents could be measured by her turbulent heart. Still, there was something about the odd caressing
of even numbers that left a clue to the licking of walls and the appearance of bridges and that was intriguing to Kitty's need for a full glass of water, nevermind the licker...er...liquor. As fate would have it, nipsy was only remotely aware of the gentle hissing of the malfunctioning radiator, and left the door open so that...
 
...his lost dog would come back and not have to ring the doorbell. yes, he trained the sweet canine to ring the bell when he wanted to come back inside. but with all the hubub of the party, the wall licking, etc. it might get overlooked. and so, his dog did eventually come back. snuck in, checked out the scene, sniffed at kitty's drink, and turned around to find...
oldviolin
ab origine
oldviolin Avatar

Location: esse quam videri
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Leo


Posted: Jan 19, 2011 - 2:35pm

 lily34 wrote:
.nipsy russell. what's odd about this, is that he and kitty carlisle were once known to throw the most fantabulous and outrageous parties for 80 of their closest friends and 40 of their relatives. they liked to keep things at even numbers. for, if there was an odd numbered group that nipsy was hosting, he'd often become withdrawn and cowering in a corner, licking the paint off of the wall. no one could stop him until the grouping was back to an even number. kitty didnt pay much attention when this happened, she was more concerned that her drink was...

 

...positioned exactly where the contents could be measured by her turbulent heart. Still, there was something about the odd caressing
of even numbers that left a clue to the licking of walls and the appearance of bridges and that was intriguing to Kitty's need for a full glass of water, nevermind the licker...er...liquor. As fate would have it, nipsy was only remotely aware of the gentle hissing of the malfunctioning radiator, and left the door open so that...
lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Jan 19, 2011 - 2:22pm

 Proclivities wrote:
...her "secret views" had returned.  The last eleven years of therapy and psychotropic drugs had up-until-then, controlled her hallucinations, but as she gazed at the sweet-smelling cloth she could not help but see that the scribbling upon it bore an overwhelming resemblance to...

...nipsy russell. what's odd about this, is that he and kitty carlisle were once known to throw the most fantabulous and outrageous parties for 80 of their closest friends and 40 of their relatives. they liked to keep things at even numbers. for, if there was an odd numbered group that nipsy was hosting, he'd often become withdrawn and cowering in a corner, licking the paint off of the wall. no one could stop him until the grouping was back to an even number. kitty didnt pay much attention when this happened, she was more concerned that her drink was...
 


Proclivities
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aries
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: May 9, 2010 - 5:28am

 duchamp wrote:
...chocolates were presented to Miss Ono.  She promptly began using the candies as pastels creating an interesting rendering of her sounds on  cloth.  Miss Judi took the cloth wondering why on this Mother's Day of all Mother's Days  .....
 

...her "secret views" had returned.  The last eleven years of therapy and psychotropic drugs had up-until-then, controlled her hallucinations, but as she gazed at the sweet-smelling cloth she could not help but see that the scribbling upon it bore an overwhelming resemblance to...

duchamp
Just Whistling Dixie
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Location: Florida Panhandle
Gender: Female


Posted: May 9, 2010 - 3:56am

...chocolates were presented to Miss Ono.  She promptly began using the candies as pastels creating an interesting rendering of her sounds on  cloth.  Miss Judi took the cloth wondering why on this Mother's Day of all Mother's Days  .....



GeneP59
PROUD 2 B FROM BOSTON!
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Location: On the edge of tomorrow looking back at yesterday.
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Capricorn
Chinese Yr: Rat


Posted: May 8, 2010 - 10:36pm

 Proclivities wrote:

fanatical parties based upon their Lunar New Year.  They eat the exotic fruits, which had been painstaking brined, months in advance, and "skate' upon highly-polished hardwood floors in their socks.  To have unmatched socks is punishable by...
 
the feather of laughing death while Yoko Ono sings screeches in the background to a remake of the Talking Heads Speaking In Tongues. But at the last minute a bright flash appeared in the village square where a box of...

Proclivities
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aries
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Mar 21, 2010 - 6:01pm

 lily34 wrote:

mismatched socks, and a shortage of kumquats. this is a problem as the citizens of Org need to have matching socks and kumquats because of their

 
fanatical parties based upon their Lunar New Year.  They eat the exotic fruits, which had been painstaking brined, months in advance, and "skate' upon highly-polished hardwood floors in their socks.  To have unmatched socks is punishable by...

lily34
i need a bogle for my glotch.
lily34 Avatar

Location: GTFO
Gender: Female
Zodiac: Cancer
Chinese Yr: Monkey


Posted: Mar 21, 2010 - 9:00am

 Awesomer wrote:

... an abundance of of Goji juice. Meanwhile back on planet Org turmoil has erupted due to...

 
mismatched socks, and a shortage of kumquats. this is a problem as the citizens of Org need to have matching socks and kumquats because of their
Awesomer
tweaking the world's nipples since 62...
Awesomer Avatar

Location: Kars, Canada
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Taurus
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Mar 21, 2010 - 8:52am

 Proclivities wrote:

...disassemble the ramparts of corporeal laws and germane ideation once the construction of Reality® became understood. This fatuous power gradually elucidated itself through wearisome and dizzying lollygagging, guided by the drunken ramblings of a chimney-sweep and complemented by...
 
... an abundance of of Goji juice. Meanwhile back on planet Org turmoil has erupted due to...


Proclivities
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aries
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Mar 19, 2010 - 11:11am

 samiyam wrote:

...green mold on his toenails.  This sage advice from the sage made us take pause and decide to change our ways.  We stopped robbing drugstores and went back to taking long-distance sniping shots at people with paintball guns.  It seemed much more socially positive to scare the hell out of people than to take their drugs from them.  After all, your common man needs his cialis more than he needs his dignity.
     After a few days, however, the urge to do bad came over us and we found out how to...
 
...disassemble the ramparts of corporeal laws and germane ideation once the construction of Reality® became understood. This fatuous power gradually elucidated itself through wearisome and dizzying lollygagging, guided by the drunken ramblings of a chimney-sweep and complemented by...

samiyam
"Go Ahead, Ignore Me" - Todd Rundgren -
samiyam Avatar

Location: Moving North


Posted: Mar 19, 2010 - 8:59am

 Proclivities wrote:

Sadhu Haridas was mumbling about after his having been buried alive for forty days.  Perhaps it was due to the taste of the clarified butter on his tongue, but for some reason he started chirping that if one who is accustomed to drinking nectar takes to eating stale cheese, he soon grows...

 
...green mold on his toenails.  This sage advice from the sage made us take pause and decide to change our ways.  We stopped robbing drugstores and went back to taking long-distance sniping shots at people with paintball guns.  It seemed much more socially positive to scare the hell out of people than to take their drugs from them.  After all, your common man needs his cialis more than he needs his dignity.
     After a few days, however, the urge to do bad came over us and we found out how to...

Proclivities
“If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.
Proclivities Avatar

Location: Paris of the Piedmont
Gender: Male
Zodiac: Aries
Chinese Yr: Tiger


Posted: Mar 19, 2010 - 8:11am

 GeneP59 wrote:

the Curly Shuffle taught by those renowned educators, Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard? Any who, we were going to get something from someone at some point in time. Then it occurred to us that we had done this all before. I was a case of Deja Vu all over again or that's what Yogi ...
 
Sadhu Haridas was mumbling about after his having been buried alive for forty days.  Perhaps it was due to the taste of the clarified butter on his tongue, but for some reason he started chirping that if one who is accustomed to drinking nectar takes to eating stale cheese, he soon grows...


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