He was a panhandle prince
Schoolboy football king
They told him "Hi" in the halls 'cause he could run them balls
But it was rumored, down deep, he was mean
He dated high tone girls with frosty pom pom curls
But he'd never give out his ring
He was the best of the best, he met the gridiron test
And there ain't nothing as American and clean


He was the pride of the backfield, aw, the hero of his day
Hell, he carried the ball for the red and blue, they won district AAA
And his name made all the papers as the best they'd ever had
Yeah, so nobody understood it when the great Joe Bob went bad


Yeah, first he lost his scholarship to Texas Tech
For drinking during training and breaking the coach's neck
Yeah, then he got suspended, aw, for acting obscene
Around the cum laude-y, cum laude-y daughter of the dean
So he took up with a waitress named Loose Ruby Cole
While she was hopping tables down at the Hi-Di-Ho
And he met her on the sly when her daddy weren't around
Aw, but he stopped making yardage when he started messing 'round


It spread like a country wildfire that something big had gone all strange
Joe Bob, the greatest halfback, was acting half deranged
He'd been seen out with this woman getting drunk and having fun
Hell, he growed his hair, then give up prayer
And said "Football days is done"
Then he and old Loose Ruby robbed Pinkie's Liquor Store
They had a run in with the law when they was running out the door
And Joe Bob's fate was sealed for the next century
Hell, he traded in the pigskin for the penitentiary


He was the pride of the backfield, aw, the hero of his day
Hell, he carried the ball for the red and blue
But hell, he carried it all the way
And his name made all the papers as the best they'd ever had
Yeah, so nobody understood it and nobody comprehended
When the great Joe Bob went bad