The last time the area behind Coaxial's ears got cleaned, the stock market came into existence.

Miamizsun told his bank manager he needed a personal loan. Naturally the bank manager assumed he meant "of money", not "of persons".

They were both pretty embarrassed, but only one of them needed to explain themselves to the authorities.

If oldviolin has said it once, he's said it forty times forty times; the Bible is not a plaything, the Quran is not a chew toy, and the sword in the stone is worth two birds indeed. (offer void on Thursdays)

Lazy8 is one of those guys that's just naturally good with dogs. 

But, like he says, a little bacon grease in your jockstrap never hurts.

I had a really great Zoom chat with islander last week. It was really good to touch base with someone so grounded and down to earth - very centering, very calming. 

Probably would have been better if he hadn't used that AI-created "last moments of the children on the 'Titanic'" background, though. 

One of winter’s teachers wrote in his middle school yearbook, “You have a very slappable face.” Other people wrote that they agreed.

When ptooey speaks, people listen. They rarely hear anything intelligible, but it's worth it to watch him try.

Red_Dragon sold six sick cicadas to some city slickers from Salem. 

And he'd have gotten away with it, too, if he hadn't taken a check written the back of an old grocery bag.

Geoff_morphini was one of those kids who was obsessed with insects. He kept a few dozen of them down his pants pretty much all the way through tenth grade.

Veev invited me to his piano recital. And I have to admit that he did better than I expected.

Hopefully next year he can remember the next letter after "P-I". We're all rooting for you, lil' buddy!

It's been maybe 3 years? And I'm still trying to "unsee" SFW's unfortunate nip-slip incident at the Farmer's market.

winter was once scammed into buying a signed copy of George Foreman's "Great Big Book of Male Baby Names".

ColdMiser puts more effort into sorting uncooked macaroni by texture than most people put into naming their children.

As a child, SFW had a teddy bear named "Mr. President". And every Friday he would dress up and put on a whole sultry show just like Marilyn Monroe.

His parents imagined this would get better as he got older. But nothing helped: singing lessons, acting lessons, charm school, not even deprogramming by Yogi Berra.

So if you're invited to Friday dinner, just ... brace yourself. Work on your poker face. He doesn't take negative feedback well.

Veev's had to change doctors three times this year. He refuses to believe that there are no "adult cootie shot boosters".

Veev's spent $400 of his own money trying to get Albert Pujols to run for Pope.

After much soul-searching and discussion with friends, family and clergy... winter has decided that he once again wants to be called: Butt-Munch.

NoEnz bought sixty cases of McConnell's Itching Powder for Dry Sockets to punish himself for having that fantasy about Lorenzo Lamas again.

miamszun's user name isn't just an anagram for "Zuni imams", it's also the word for "flat mineral water served with a ham rind garnish" in his private language.

SFW has these strange dreams where he's pushing Nancy Pelosi into a well, yelling "let's see you fake waffles now, you sassy can of hammer wax".

But the really disturbing part is how he keeps telling this to school kids at the crosswalk, even when he's not on crossing guard duty.