The guilty secret of having pets is that there are those "one in a millions", where there is an extra bond. For my partner, it was our first Dalmatian, Stella. And maybe Klondike the cat. I maybe haven't got quite there but I look back on growing up with Mindy and how I would spend forever crawling around on the floor chasing her with her ball, playing tug with it then bouncing it for her to grab and start again. Or scratching her belly until my arm was sore. My siblings never did that. Or Pinot the cat who had that special bond with Stella and didn't pay too much attention to me until she and I and Dalmatian Misty lived alone and she bonded. Would sleep curled up against my chest. If I rolled over, most cats would get pissed and leave, but she would just buzz off like a March fly and land back curled up on the other side. I was so surprised at how much I miss her. I'm not proud, sometimes will grab Nigel, the stuffed penguin to put in her spot, if I'm out of sorts.
But, as others here know, that doesn't mean the other ones aren't worth it. For me, they are so worth it. Maybe it is the same with people. I dunno.
Oh the stories we can tell. Worth is a funny word, amigo. Like, balance.
Right now my dog is a kitty cat, which seems ironic having had the comfort of dogs all my life up until 7 years ago. I love him too, when he lets me. Shiloh lived to be 19, and I'm sure that I could have held onto him longer though he was severely crippled and passing in front of me along with my Father at the same time. I realized he was only enduring for me and the guilt was overwhelming when coupled with attempting to care for my dying father. It all practically ripped the will from my heart. I still sleep on the floor because of that little big chapter.
Feathers are like that. They fly, they fall, they float...
They crashed our party and left us before we were ready, as if that time would ever come.
I had an argument with my ex once about Shiloh. He wasn't much of a fireworks fan and one July 4th I refused to leave him at home alone by himself to attend celebrations because fireworks were going off everywhere already and he was quite unhappy about it. She wasn't happy either, exclaiming that he was "just a dog".
That proved to me that she didn't know him and that she didn't really know me. Now I'm alone, and it's him I miss.
Darling, if you read this you must know by now. I wish you peace and profound fulfillment.
The guilty secret of having pets is that there are those "one in a millions", where there is an extra bond. For my partner, it was our first Dalmatian, Stella. And maybe Klondike the cat. I maybe haven't got quite there but I look back on growing up with Mindy and how I would spend forever crawling around on the floor chasing her with her ball, playing tug with it then bouncing it for her to grab and start again. Or scratching her belly until my arm was sore. My siblings never did that. Or Pinot the cat who had that special bond with Stella and didn't pay too much attention to me until she and I and Dalmatian Misty lived alone and she bonded. Would sleep curled up against my chest. If I rolled over, most cats would get pissed and leave, but she would just buzz off like a March fly and land back curled up on the other side. I was so surprised at how much I miss her. I'm not proud, sometimes will grab Nigel, the stuffed penguin to put in her spot, if I'm out of sorts.
But, as others here know, that doesn't mean the other ones aren't worth it. For me, they are so worth it. Maybe it is the same with people. I dunno.
My ex was rightfully miffed, but she didn't sense the space. Often she accused me of loving him more than herself. I admit, she deserved better; but then, so did I.
He wasn't much of a wisher. He mostly was a dog, actually. A unique to me dog. The best kind of dog. A companion. Also there was that little extra that wasn't a dog but was a comforter. A particularly custom space made just for my unique emotional well being. We all have such a space. Keeping it resolved is quite a trick. We find it wherever in whatever suits our sense of belonging to something or someone greater than our attempts to fill it with anything otherwise. It is often where we are most vulnerable.
I know you speak the truth and that dog is out there. I will recognize him or her when I see them. When my spirit has gone as far as it can in the space without them, I'll find that friend again. He's not lost. Just napping. I have his treats ready.
I can't explain it to my understanding any better than that. After all, what is a Comforter?
My ex was rightfully miffed, but she didn't sense the space. Often she accused me of loving him more than herself. I admit, she deserved better; but then, so did I.
He wasn't much of a wisher. He mostly was a dog, actually. A unique to me dog. The best kind of dog. A companion. Also there was that little extra that wasn't a dog but was a comforter. A particularly custom space made just for my unique emotional well being. We all have such a space. Keeping it resolved is quite a trick. We find it wherever in whatever suits our sense of belonging to something or someone greater than our attempts to fill it with anything otherwise. It is often where we are most vulnerable.
I know you speak the truth and that dog is out there. I will recognize him or her when I see them. When my spirit has gone as far as it can in the space without them, I'll find that friend again. He's not lost. Just napping. I have his treats ready.
I can't explain it to my understanding any better than that. After all, what is a Comforter?
According to my 'limited' understanding it is that unconditional condition in the love condition that is giving us so much and that we can't compare to a regular human relationship as those are way more complicated, from "being born into" ... towards "you name it"... human relationships are most rarely characterized by an 'unconditional' love... as this shows an alignment (harmony) with nature if any unconditional love is there between us humans, which is not at all typical.
