step 1: buy half a side of grade C beef Step 2: buy the other half, because it looks “lonely” Step 3: season both halves with a mixture of chili powder, turmeric, Laotian garlic, Mexican vanilla, powdered plantains, bison tears, and polar bear sweat salt. Step 4: allow the beef to age exactly 17 hours and 31 minutes in a darkened warehouse while reciting “The Waste Land”. Step 5: make sure the beef is not late for graduation. It’s important to get your diploma. Step 6: set an alarm for 3PM on the following Thursday. Step 7: set a second alarm at 2:59 PM on the following Thursday. You wouldn’t want to miss out on the chance to hit snooze on the first alarm. Step 8: update your CV. It’s been a while, and you never did get around to mentioning that spelling bee you won in third grade. Step 9: put the beef in an oven which you preheated to 350 a couple weeks ago. Step 10: while you wait for the beef to cook, weep bitterly about nearly every choice you’ve ever made. Step 11: add “following these instructions” to the list of choices you should weep bitterly about.
Alright, it was the 5th grade. I beat the teachers pet who was a big snobby girl named Donna and threatened to "beat my cheating little ass" over it. Talk about bitter. Also that 5th grade teacher was a sweet but tough old lady who changed my life by actually working with my Mother on spelling and the various and sundry behavioral issues keeping me at a desk in the hallway. She stopped class and put on her Yankees hat during the World Series so we could listen on the radio. Donna hated me and baseball which made the experience all the more sublime. Yankees win the pennant! There's no crying in baseball...
step 1: buy half a side of grade C beef
Step 2: buy the other half, because it looks âlonelyâ
Step 3: season both halves with a mixture of chili powder, turmeric, Laotian garlic, Mexican vanilla, powdered plantains, bison tears, and polar bear sweat salt.
Step 4: allow the beef to age exactly 17 hours and 31 minutes in a darkened warehouse while reciting âThe Waste Landâ.
Step 5: make sure the beef is not late for graduation. Itâs important to get your diploma.
Step 6: set an alarm for 3PM on the following Thursday.
Step 7: set a second alarm at 2:59 PM on the following Thursday. You wouldnât want to miss out on the chance to hit snooze on the first alarm.
Step 8: update your CV. Itâs been a while, and you never did get around to mentioning that spelling bee you won in third grade.
Step 9: put the beef in an oven which you preheated to 350 a couple weeks ago.
Step 10: while you wait for the beef to cook, weep bitterly about nearly every choice youâve ever made.
Step 11: add âfollowing these instructionsâ to the list of choices you should weep bitterly about.
Okay, hear me out: I didnât know the mike was still hot. Iâd switched it on three seconds earlier. Who knew someone stuck a Duracell in the damn thing?
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I keep waiting for a website that has more than one option for the "I'm not a robot" captcha. When I see one that says "Well, sorta" or "Hells yeah, I'm totally a robot" I'm going to click it see where it takes me.
It seems that sound is very personal. Or, is it listening that's personal? Hmmm. But what would you listen to if at first there was no sound? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, you can be assured that it was heard by something. Are you listening? If no human was there to listen for then hear the sound but it was recorded, was it sound before a human heard the recording? Or is sound only sound when its heard and does it have to be listened for to be actually heard or does all of it only pertain to an instant and what exactly is an instant? Time? Space? Can you take an aura and add an L and make of it art? What would a sound instant of your innermost sound like? Are you listening? Can you hear? Can you see it and draw or paint it? Can you sculpt it in your mind? Does it; sound, sound like a tree, having fallen in the forest? Does the ship that was made from the tree have a sound crew? Are the sails full of the sounds of a full wind? Do the storms crashing's rock and the waves deafening lashes drown out the sound? Is the sound in our mind the same as the sound of our time?
Now. Who would like a giant cup of hot chocolate? Bet that sounds nice, and you haven't even listened to what having tasted it sounds like yet. At least, not in this instant instance...
Next week! How does what we see when the sea is what we saw as we had previously seen? Be there. Aloha...
A question for all the multitudes of second hands. If time may exist and pass harmoniously, will future time be harmonious? Asking for my friends, the ictusos...
sideshow slideshow you can run but you can't hide, so sew me a pillow and cry me a river and fix my bow with the shards in my quiver so I shoot the arrow to the heart of the Giver...
