Every day, Red_Dragon wakes up grateful he still has his health. He gives himself a satisfied nod in the mirror, heads out to the car, and spends his commute praying to every deity he can think of that Howdy Doody will finally agree to pose for those "art photos" he's been asking for.

If you thought GeneP59's mustache was a doozy, you were close. It's actually a coozy he got from Al's Booby Barn and Tractor Parts Compound after giving his fiftieth lap dance.

VV doesn't like to brag, mostly for lack of material. But after a few beers he may deign to tell you about the time he almost married Cher, until the shrooms wore off and he realized he'd proposed to his vacuum cleaner after it got clogged on his chest hairs.

they dated for nine years after that.

buddy knows three things: that he can't have ice cream within three hours of bedtime, that he needs his bedroom kept at a consistent 68 degrees, and that he needs to stop calling that steamer trunk full of sailor-themed porn and "antique" Yoo-Hoo bottles he keeps under the garage his bedroom.

The last time geoff_morphini went to White Castle, he was asked to leave after he tried to borrow someone else's pants so he could go in.

it's possible that Islander's application for "Papal Undersecretary for Humorless Sea Urchins" was pre-declined after the clerk noticed he had filled it out in blood.

Or maybe it was the lilac-scented glitter he added to the ink.

 geoff_morphini wrote:

The swoon is bad, but you should really avoid 'Lumpy'.

Do not mention June Cleaver in front of VV; he’ll swoon

True fact: geoff_morphini's crusty underwear once stopped a stray bullet.

Not to put too fine of a point on haresfur's lack of challenging himself intellectually, but his main hobby is playing "solo checkers".

Once a month Veev puts on his clown costume & goes to the local Children's Hospital to visit the kids.

He doesn't tell them he's coming & his clown costume is Pennywise from Stephen King's "It".  Oh, the horror!

winter's new occupation Online Emoji Consultant is not panning out as planned.
  
Mostly because he always suggests his clients use the "poop" emoji 90% of the time. 💩

winter still thinks his AMC Gremlin is the coolest car in town

Did you know that Winters favorite Christmas song is “My Ding-a-ling” by Chucks Berries  

Winter's into a deep depression funk. For the 16th Christmas in a row Santa did not bring him a goo-goo balls CD, nor did he kill dionisys DEAD!

Winter's relief that his state hasn't banned pornhub knows no end.

Steely_D's one regret is that he never really tried to join the circus. He just tells people that to seem "more colorful".

Geoff_morphini has the same custom doorbell as his best friend: a recording of Richard Nixon bringing himself to climax with a photo of Henry Kissinger.

no one has the courage to tell VV this to his face, but no one has the courage to tell VV anything to his face.

the last time SFW bought new shoes, Obama was President and he had the same exact cans of soup in his cupboard that he does now.